First post

We all strive for perfection. Its like a race with an ultimate goal : to be thin. 
I decided to start a blog because I felt alone. No one understood me. It felt like I was trapped in a world where everyone was against me, trying to derail me from my ultimate goal and I hated it. I hated everyone who tried to force me to eat, I hated myself when I succumbed to their traps. And I hated the numbers shown on the scale the morning after. The numbers that rule my life.
I chose to stay anonymous in case someone I know stumbles upon this blog. It is not my wish for my family and friends to find out about my eating disorder. Only a few know about it and I intend for it to stay that way.
I'm home with my family for Christmas which will make it hard for me to continue my ways without arousing suspicion and I can't bear it if those numbers go up so I decided to test the waters with a one day liquid fast tomorrow and see if they'll notice and eat about 300-500 calories the following day then go for a 2 day fast and eat afterwards, I'll keep going like that till I get to a 4 or 5 day fast and cover it up with the fact I'm ill and I'll see where i'll go from there depending on their level of suspicion.
I'm 5'6 by the way. I won't disclose my weight for now. My goal weight is 100lbs maybe 95lbs. I'm in boarding school, so it's kinda easy in school but once I get home, everyone is on about how much weight I've lost and trying to force feed me till I'm 'healthy' enough which is frigging fat and I'm determined to change that, I hate how much my clothes fit. I crave the concave stomach not convex, I don't want my thighs to touch and I want to be able to admire my prominent clavicle and hip bones, I want o be thin, my own version of 'healthy'. Maybe being sick would help jump start my weight loss, I pray so.
I'm still sore from the dance/cardio exercise I did yesterday for 2hours and I still went on the treadmill for an hour and was able to shed 312 on the treadmill and over 1000 from my dance/cardio. I have to increase how much calories I burn on the treadmill if I want to reach my goal. I'll let you know how my fast goes tomorrow till then, starve on my lovelies, reach perfection