What you don't know won't hurt you

I've been away for a while due to school, but so much has happened since my last entry, i lost 34lbs, my best friend and ex boyfriend (we were going out when this happened) found out about my eating disorder, i made an instagram page @yearning.for.bones and i was reported to the school authorities for not eating and missing meals. i embarked on a little 5 day fast on only water last week and lost 10lbs, i currently can't fast because my exams are coming up on monday and after thet, i'm being shipped to an island with no civilization for a leadership training course so hopefully i can loose some more pounds. I have been diagnosed with ED-NOS officially, but my mum doesn't know yet, i binge and purge a lot now, i restrict a lot and since i'm being watched, i have to eat at least one meal a day but screw that, i haven't had any calories in 2 days and my school counselor hasn't realized so i may get away with it. As you know i'm in boarding school, and tomorrow is my visiting day, so my mum is coming, i just have to make sure she avoids all staff and she's only bringing salad and a sandwich. i've been having lots of breakdowns lately due to pent up emotions, i've had no outlet because no one really understands me and i'm to scared to confide in anyone really. I didn't tell my best friend, he found my eating/measurement journal and confronted me about it and i told my ex because i trusted him and he also has his own issues, he understood at first then later he was just trying to get me to eat at all cost, i mean he was sweet, gave me a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear when no one would pay me attention, i appreciated it really but truth be told, i'm just scared of letting him get to close because i'll only end up disappointing him the way i let everyone down, we still talk and he still helps me out but i don't think we're going farther than that in all honesty, i'll try and post again before my exams and let you know whats been going on. i really missed this xxx